The Autumn Leaf

Autumn leaf

I wish I were an autumn leaf. I were the rose of the autumn that waits for another rain to shine again and blossom completely. I want to be pout like that flower that closes beautifully and even the leaves don’t get to know of her grief until she’s all withered.

– Maryam Sher Ali

Last autumn I saw her looking wistfully outside the window. Her bright eyes, hazel colored, salmon pink cheeks, blushing like a hue of crimson red were so deep in thoughts.

the autumn leaf

The weather outside was cold and a breeze of melancholy was there, with the falling of leaves that carpeted the floors, much like her deep gaze. I asked her if something was bothering her or something was lately going on in her mind. She showed an upbeat smile and said, “I wish I were an autumn leaf. I were the rose of the autumn that waits for another rain to shine again and blossom completely. I want to be pout like that flower that closes beautifully and even the leaves don’t get to know of her grief until she’s all withered”.

You must die first to be loved and missed – sad but true!

I asked Hazel, but why so? Of all the things why would you choose to be a rose of an autumn leaf? With sadness evident in her eyes, she said, “have you ever noticed how things are loved when they are on the verge of dying or withering away. I want to be loved that way and looked upon that way”.

The next time I saw her, she was in a hospital bed dying to catch a few breaths. She still maintained her smile as if she was happy about something. Forcing a smile back I asked her what was it?

She said, “ever since the people around me came to know about my terminal illness, they have started loving me more. See Maryam, I have become an autumn leaf and I am ready to fall with grace. I have become an autumn leaf”.

the autumn leaf

Watching things end makes us want to hold on to them forever.

-Maryum Sher Ali

I ran out of the room into the corridor, tears rolling down my cheeks.  After catching my breath I sat on a nearby bench and I noticed a tree right in front of me full of autumn leaves. It looked so appealing and perfect. I stared at it for a while with Hazel’s words in my mind and then I thought these leaves would never get the praise and attention they receive now if they stayed the same always.

Autumn loneliness

She was right. Watching things end makes us want to hold on to them forever. We start loving them more sacredly and passionately. We care more and we see them more. She was so right after all. After a few hours, I receive a call from the doctors, “Hazel ceases to be, I’m sorry”, confirmed the doctor.

Dying in autumn

I cried helplessly and there was a crack in my voice over the phone, a small howl came out which was unbelievably painful. I couldn’t say a word as if a lump had blocked my throat. I kept on telling myself that Hazel is happy somewhere else now.

A Lesson Never Taught at School!

That day I got to know that everything in life has a purpose. Every beginning and every end is meaningful, however, painful and shattering it is, it teaches us something that no school ever taught.

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